The Power of Learning To Adapt & Listen To Yourself
Many of us how have been taught that there is a linear path for our lives and we can succeed if we just work hard enough and do things “correctly”. This has led many of us to go, go go, and seek more and more and more. We can find ourselves exhausted, disappointed, frustrated, and confused. Why isn’t it working? Why aren’t we content? Why are we lonely? Why do we still not feel like we’ve done enough?
As I move through life, it continues to become more apparent to me that the path is anything but linear. You can work really hard at something and it still doesn’t go as planned. You can experience loss, hardship, or pain at any point, even if you have been sticking to the path set before you. You can follow the trail perfectly, end up with all of the things that society has deemed successful and still feel empty, alone, or unfulfilled.
I have been learning that finding a sense of aliveness, or fulfillment, or presence is much more about adapting than it is about following a formula to reach a certain goal. I have been learning that adaptation actually supports us in being able to appropriately respond to the moment we are in and to learn, grow, or shift direction, instead of becoming stuck or feeling like we’ve lost ourselves when something doesn’t go as planned. This is a process, a practice every single day of tuning in, of trying to notice what is happening on the inside, of learning how to respond to what you notice. It is a process of trial and error, good moments and hard moments, moments of joy and moments of frustration and confusion. I have been learning that the non-linear path forward may have more twists and turns but the journey is so much more alive and rich.
Below is a practice that I hope can act as an invitation for tuning in, listening, sitting with yourself, and adapting as a human being on this non-linear, ever-changing course of life.
Pause, even if for a brief moment, and notice your internal landscape.
See what sensations, emotions, and thoughts may be present. You can imagine your internal world as a weather pattern or natural landscape or simply make note of what you are observing. Observe non-judgmentally, trying to approach yourself with curiosity.
As you notice your internal landscape or weather, see if you can observe from a vista or a viewpoint in your mind, a place where you can have a little space to just notice.
See if you can try not to problem solve or change anything yet. See if you can continue to withhold judgment of your feelings and thoughts and, instead, witness them and notice what you may learn from being with them.
Begin to move towards any sensation, emotion, or thought that is calling your attention and wonder, “What can I learn from you?” or “What do you need from me right now?” or “What do you want me to know?”
You may not always receive an answer or solution. You may be asked to sit for a moment longer and just bring mindful awareness to what you are noticing, not needing that part of you to respond or change but rather, giving it your time, attention, and care for a few breaths, a few moments.
See if there are any shifts or changes that you are drawn to try out based on what you have noticed.
See if you are drawn to move, stretch, breathe, lie down, drink some water, slow down, reach out to someone, look out the window, take a break. See if you can invite your needs, your awareness, into the space with you, not as a hindrance for what you are trying to achieve but as a way of meeting yourself, tending to yourself, adapting to the present moment responsively based on what you learn or observe.
If it is difficult to turn inward or to respond to yourself, see if you could imagine a natural being that you love, such as a plant or animal.
Imagine how you would attune to this being and recognize what they may need. Imagine how you may adjust your response to this being based on the season, the weather, the current environment you are within, the context of what has happened that day. Then, imagine if you could offer that same kind of attunement and responsiveness to yourself.
As you try this out, you may realize that adaptability may not feel comfortable or calming. Adaptability is not about feeling good or productive but instead, it is about meeting yourself and the world around you, as they are, and approaching the present moment in a way that is responsive.
Sometimes, this may be taking a break from something you really want to finish. Sometimes, it may be having a hard conversation with someone about patterns in your relationship that do not feel supportive. Sometimes, it may be leaving a job, a relationship, a place you live, a passion you loved when you realize it is no longer the right path for you. The process of adapting can sometimes feel difficult in the moment and it also invites the opportunity to actually follow a path that is responsive to your needs, a path that feels meaningful to you, a path that allows you to be present in your daily life and to feel more connected and alive.